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The Six Keys to Nursing Success Series
The Sixth key- The final shift – from responsibilities to values.
Live
your values
Values are
your essence. They are the beliefs that guide your every decision, the building
blocks to create the foundation of who you are and the principles by which you
live. Your convictions regarding what you believe is important and desirable are
determined by your values.
Overall, our
ego has distinct values which cause it to choose certain things over others.
These values are health, wealth, happiness, avoiding pain, fear, and struggle,
particular life circumstances like: owning a home, a fast car, living in a
specific place, or having a great relationship; acceptance, approval,
admiration, and respect from others; divides experiences into good and bad, like
and don’t like.
Soul values
are concerned with being – not doing, a long term view, no attachment to what
form the manifestation of the purpose takes (it’s all good), no preference for
what experience the ego is having; doesn’t divide experiences in to good/bad;
Sees the person’s life as a work of art, or journey; sees all experiences as
teaching along a path (no matter how the ego
experiences them)
You may or may not be conscious of your
personal values. Every person has a set of complex values, which may shift
somewhat throughout life. These core values, the essence of you, stay
as your foundation throughout life while others may be added or deleted,
depending on life experiences.
How does it feel when your values are not
aligned with friends, family, work, community, or other areas of your life? Are
you uncomfortable? Do you experience stress or irritation? Do you have the
feeling you don’t fit in?
You have the right to say no. Others may
take you for granted or even lose respect for you if you always say yes.
According to Harriett Braiker, author of The Disease to Please: Curing the
People-Pleasing Syndrome, if you think you are a bad person when you say no,
you may suffer from the “disease to please.” (See the September 2009 Shift
Change Coaching Newsletter article on the Shift Change Blog for more on “saying
no”.)
If you say
yes when you really mean no, you appear unreliable, unenthusiastic, or
scatter-brained. So, pare down your commitments and focus on doing the things
about which you are passionate!
Values
exercise: Values apply to your personal and professional life. What are your top
3 values? (See this month’s Personal Practice Tip for help with this).
Example: If
one of your values is recognition, this may show up personally with you
volunteering to lead the homeowner’s association in your neighborhood.
Professionally, this might translate into serving as a committee leader or being
purposeful in asking for regular feedback from your supervisor and colleagues.
Your values empower you to invest your
time and energy in matters about which you are passionate. You can now say yes
to those things in alignment with your core values, and you can say no to those
things that are not. Remember, please, no is not a four-letter word. No is a
powerful word, but it tends to be used infrequently, especially by women. Since
your time is precious, you want to spend it wisely on the things that are
important to you and will help you achieve your goals. When you now think of
your responsibilities and decisions, remember to include your values in the
equation.
This concludes our
series of articles on our Six Keys to Nursing Success. Watch for the December
2009 newsletter with the first in our series of articles on Nurse Leadership.
Should you lead, follow or get out of the way? Until then, practice the Six
Keys to Nursing Success and report your ideas and successes on the Shift Change
Blog @
www.shiftchangecoaching.com.
Best regards,
Merrily Sable, RN, BSN and Betsy Smith, PhD
 
Don’t miss the debut of:
“Second
Blooming for Women-
Growing a Life That
Matters After Fifty”
 Our own Betsy Smith has co-authored a book with Kathleen Logan, “Second Blooming for Women: Growing a Life that Matters After Fifty”.
This book speaks to 5 of these 6 keys, as it relates to women reinventing themselves. We also consider this a great resource for those of you that aren’t fifty yet!
Now available at : secondbloomingforwomen.com
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